so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
