just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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