drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
