my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
