Im at strip club and am horny
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
