Just fell off a train. Bad.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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