I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My vagina just clenched in fear
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize