I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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