Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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