Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
