i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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