Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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