Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
