were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
