at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize