best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
