I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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