The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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