he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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