That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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