when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
