when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
