i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
