conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
