you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
