so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
