I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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