I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize