In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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