Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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