you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
