Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someone shattered a urinal.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
