i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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