I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
