I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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