Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
