His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you win again, gameday.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
