I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
