I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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