u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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