My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.