I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.