Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.