Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now