i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.