so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
