its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
