i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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