I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
