he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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