i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
