Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
