How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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