Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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