Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
