She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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