its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
