Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
