Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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