I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
