I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
