I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Four minutes until I can fart!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
