I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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