What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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