I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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