I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize