I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
