We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
how drunk are you?
Several
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
