Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
