I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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