I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
