yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
