I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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